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15th June 2007

10:12am: [The Server aka Endless Summer 2:]
I loved you, you made me, hate me.
You gave me, hate, see?.
It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that?
I rip back, every time you tried to steal that.
You feel bad? you feel sad?
I'm sorry, hell no fuck that!
It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife.
This strife it dies, this life and these lies.
And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you!

[Chorus - Tha Producer aka Da Seducer:]
I've , Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no
I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry no

[J-Dog aka The Flat Iron Chef:]
I wish I could I could have quit you.
I wish I never missed you,
And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you.
The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew!
How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you.
I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up.
Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts!


[Bridge - Tha Producer and Shady]
Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.
And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.
Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.
And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.


6th June 2007

12:48pm: So i am sitting here in HS Success && thinking about how much crap i have to start studying for

I have finals on monday and teusday for

* English
* Math
* HS Success
* Global
* French

I have those WONDERFUL regents..

20-Liv. Enviroment

Oh and i have graduation for Chorus on the 23..yay

but besides that i have the county fair on the 5-8 of july for FFA,
And wheat harvest fest as well as State fair for FFA... 

Volleyball will start eventually,
Which mean i should prolly start workign out at some point...

Our youth pastor who is being a royal ass is haveng a volleyball/dodgeball/pool party saturday...
&& I will prolly be playing halo on friday night..

wow.. i need to get out more..
but after finals and regents..
I prefer not to fail...

but the period will end soon and i will have to go to english...


7th May 2007

5:15pm: wow. I think i have offically come to the conclusion that almost all guys are complete and total assholes.
They have no feelings and no matter how much they say they dont want to hurt you and want to know how you feel.. they dont really give a shit and should just be taken outside and SHOT!
Current Mood: energetic

1st May 2007

12:50pm: ow.... i think i broke my finger... its purple and tingly.. i cant feel the tip.. it fucking sucks...

well here is a survey ob my top 2 on myspace...

<!START BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE><table><tr><td colspan="2" align="center"><b><i>Top 2</i></b></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" valign="top" align="center"><b>Top 2</b></td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Why are they number 1?:</td><td align="left">Becca.. bc we have some craaazy times... </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">They your best friend?:</td><td align="left">If not she is pretty damn close </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">whats your best memory with them?:</td><td align="left">haha... soooo many... " There was turd poop in my locker!!" </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">the worst memory?:</td><td align="left">hmm.. prolly when i hated her </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Do yall go to the same school?:</td><td align="left">yuppers </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">How did you meet?:</td><td align="left">softball in like 8th grade </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">How often do you see them?:</td><td align="left">everyday </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">And if not often do you miss them?:</td><td align="left">ummmm </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Last time you talked?:</td><td align="left">like 40 min ago </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Do you consider them pretty?:</td><td align="left">yupp </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Do you trust them?:</td><td align="left">yupp </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Something silly ya'll have done?:</td><td align="left">haha... cherry!! </td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" valign="top" align="center"><b>Number 2</b></td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">They your bestfriend?:</td><td align="left">nick... well.. idk... kind of </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">Best memory?:</td><td align="left">haha.. soo many.... </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">worst memory?:</td><td align="left">idk.. prolly any time we fight </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">ever dated them?:</td><td align="left">no! </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">do yall go to the same school?:</td><td align="left">used to  </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">how did you meet?:</td><td align="left">hes my big brother </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">how long have you known them?:</td><td align="left">idk... 5 years? </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">how often do you see them?:</td><td align="left">rarely since he is in Quantico </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">last time you talked?:</td><td align="left">hmm... couple days ago </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">do you trust them?:</td><td align="left">yupp </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">are they there for you?:</td><td align="left">yupp </td></tr><tr><td valign="top" align="right">last time yall hung out?:</td><td align="left">idk... christmas` </td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center"><a href="http://www.bzoink.com/S104655/Top_2.html" title="Top 2">Take this survey</a> | <a href="http://www.bzoink.com/surveys" title="Bzoink Surveys">Find more surveys</a> | <a href="http://www.bzoink.com" title="MySpace Surveys">MySpace Surveys</a><br /><a href="http://www.bzoink.com" title="Bzoink">Bzoink</a> - The Original Survey Site</td></tr></table><!END BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE>
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Black Parade

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22nd June 2007

2:06am: wow.
I cant do this shit.
No matter i try it doesnt work.
All the times we had,
They dont just dissappear.
They eat away at my heart && my life.
They are like a neverending disease
That has no cure, no help.
No matter how hard I try nothing happens.
I try to act normal
Like nothing ever happened.
But i only make you uncomfortable.
So all i can do is try,
Try to change.
Try to leave, all I want is a normal life.
One without pain, one without suffering,
A life where I can trust someone for once
Once in my life when i wont have to worry.
Worry about who is going to hurt me next,
Worry about how much it is going to hurt this time.
Well guess what,
I am done,
Done with this shit,
All the times all they bring back is the pain,
&& how you went behind my back.
So I am sorry,
Sorry that I fucking care and that I love you.
And Im sorry that I cant move on,
That I still cant deal with it.
Im sorry, and Im done.
I say that all the time, but this time,
I will try harder, harder than ever before to finally be over.
Over you, and over this.
And maybe, just maybe, be finally happy again.
Independantly Happy,
just whistle

just whistle

just whistle

just laugh ~ 1 ~ just whistle

just whistle